Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Word of warning: This movie feels about 3 hours, though the Net says it's only 2 and a half. It was scheduled to start at 5:20 pm and when we left around 10 till 8, they were just getting to the final battle between Prime and the big bad. I'll be watching it again tomorrow (and twice again this weekend) so no biggie.

Honestly, I went into Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen fully expecting to hate it. I haven't been a fan of Michael Bay since The Rock. Much like Tony Scott, he seems to be a one-trick pony that doesn't want to veer from what he's always done. Fortunately for us, that one-trick seems to work a lot better in his sequel to the 2007 blockbuster than it did the first time around.

It still has much of the same problems: over-abundance of characters, the irritatingly active camera, lack of any real character development for the robot characters, and obvious continuity problems. Anyone who has half a brain will find it hard NOT to have some kind of internal dialogue going on during the show, asking questions. For one, why are Blackout (don't give me that "He's a different character" nonsense) and Bonecrusher still there? Weren't they scrapped in the first film? Why are there still Constructicons running around the battlefield while Devastator is doing his thing? And what the F*** is Jetfire doing with a cane and a scottish brogue? It's as bad as Grievous' tuberculosis in Star Wars.

Now that that's out of the way... I liked it.

Revenge of the Fallen is an action picture. Scratch that, it's a summer action picture. No, scratch THAT. It's a summer action picture by MICHAEL BAY. Yeah it's all about the hot girls, nice cars, big robots, and action sequences, but ask yourself, "Isn't that what you paid for?". You knew it going in, why complain. Turn off your brain, reduce yourself to his level and start enjoying your 200 bucks.

The action sequences are the same as the first movie, with hyper-kenetic camera work in the effects sequences, slow-mo highlights, 360 shots (god, I am so tired of this), and lots and lots of explosions. Difference is, they're a lot longer and were more satisfying. They pulled the camera out a bit and framed the action to give you a clearer picture of what was happening. The standoff in the forest with Prime versus 3 Decepticons had me cheering. It was almost as good as his arrival on Earth in the Animated Movie.

There is no character development at all (except for Starscream, who gets to act like his cowardly self), not even with Prime or Megatron. If you're looking for the deep dialogue and lots of complicated twists and turns, you're in the wrong movie. Remember that this whole franchise was based on what were basically 30 minute long toy commercials. I liked the direction they went here, sticking more closely to canon.

Instead of some ineffable "cube", the Decepticons are looking for energy. Pure and simple. They've built a machine that'll destroy the Earth and turn it into energon, and the key they need is the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. The Fallen is basically the same as he was when he was introduced in the comics; one of the first robots created who turned on his brothers. In this version he's got a mentor/mentee relationship with Megatron that resembles the Unicron/Galvatron partnership. Or it would if there was actually characterization. Fans will see the parallels with the the cartoon and the Animated Movie.

Is it a faithful adaptation? No. But it's far more satisfying than the excuse for a plot they had in the first one. One still gets the feeling that during the pitch, Bay was saying stuff like "Devastator's climbing up the Pyramid..." and "Demolisher is rampaging through Shanghai while Sideswipe is chasing that Audi..." and "so she sits on his lap and there's this upskirt shot while they're frenching and a tail folds out of her dress..." and then he just asked his script doctors to just put all those set pieces together when he gets the greenlight.

What? upskirt?

T-800 Endoskeleton

I've already ranted about the shortcomings about Playmate's Terminator: Salvation line in my Pescadero Escape so... I'll just copy and paste:

"The new Playmates Terminator: Salvation toy line is much the same. They look nothing like their movie counterparts, plastic quality looks cheap, and the paint applications are basic. I don’t know why they bothered with the bigger scale at all as it just makes the flaws that much easier to see. About the only thing I wanted from their line was the new Terminator costume pieces, the ones that you stick to your face and arms? I know you were thinking of buying them and going to a meeting with those on your face and a pair of red contacts."

I'm lazy like that.

I had just bought a few 1/18th scale Iron Man figures the same day I got the new NECAs and I was seriously considering getting a few of the Playmates' 3 3/4"s endoskeletons to pit them against (I not one to complain about the logical inconsistancy of one geekverse paying a visit to the next), but everytime I look at the quality of the Playmates line, I just want to ask WHY? Sure, TMNT was a fun line, but Playmates has clearly made a line of toys for young kids, when the movie is

Thankfully, NECA is around to give us nice and proper representations of the only real Terminator; our friendly neighborhood T-800!

First things first; for the love of Pete, be careful with yours! About 5 minutes after I started playing with him, the "hydraulic" piston thingie on the right leg broke. Apparently the tiny pegs are made of soft plastic and not metal pegs like in the arms. I was able to glue it, but this has hampered the articulation and he looks kind of lopside. Sort of a gimp robot. sigh.

Don't take this as a point against NECA though. I'm not as careful with toys as most collectors and that 5 minutes was spent trying to get him to do the splits. Suffice to say that isn't possible. The articulation is abundant, but it doesn't have a lot of range. Some of that is NECA's fault I'm sure, but I think alot of it stems from the fact that it's supposed to be movie accurate, and let's face it, the thing wasn't exactly nubile in the movie was it? Many of the joints have the hydraulic pistons so the range of motion is locked to what they'll allow.

Here's what he does have, cut neck, compound shoulders (A peg joint and hinge joint that give him 180 degree range in any direction), hinge elbows, swivel wrists, swivel waist, ball jointed hips, hinge knees, swivel ankles, hinged toes. Plus he's got two "door" things on his back and one on his abdomen. At first I though the one on his stomach was a ab crunch... no such luck.

The shoulders are probably the best, letting you put his arms in any position you want, but the other joints are hampered but the little doohickys stuck to him. For instance, his waist joint (actually it's somewhere in his stomach) will only turn about 10 degrees from his center,and it won't stay there due to two more of those hydraulic doodads, which look great... but aren't practical.

My feeling is they proabably should have gone with a more pliant plastic like the ones Hasbro used on the recent Sideswipe toy.

He comes with some accessories, an extra hand and a gun. He can't really hold the gun well and the extra had is kind of pointless. No biggie since the figure itself is the biggest draw.

The thing that really peeves me is that he won't stand up, especially on smooth surfaces. Because of his small, oddly shaped footprint, and extremely light frame, he tends to fall over at the slightest breeze. Well, can't have everything.

All in all, I prefer the Pescadero Terminator to this one. Despite better articulation and amazing detail, it doesn't feel as fun as Arnie. If you're a display only collector, then yes, by all means buy it. But I'd think twice if you're a guy who wants to have a Terminator vs. Superman battle.

Terminator 2: Pescadero Escape from NECA

 

I will admit it. I enjoyed Terminator: Salvation.

It is what it is; a popcorn movie. Something to watch when you need to kill 2 hours. I like it much the way I like Michael Bay's Transformers; it's not the original, but if you separate it completely from the franchise and treat it as a completely seperate quantum reality where logic is not necessary and canon isn't the rule of law, then you're golden. You can sit back and enjoy the fluff.

Watching McG's little action movie didn't so much as make me want to see more of THAT universe, it made me want to go home and watch James Cameron's original one. Those were the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. The days when terminators were Terminators, and not slow slabs of junk with bandanas. When effects were state of the art and supported the story. When T-800's walked over a field of human skulls, and Arnold schwars... Arnold Shwarzeb... The Governator straddled that Harley like there was no tomorrow...

I digress... Anyway, those are images that stick with you when you mention Terminator. "I'll Be Back", "Hasta La Vista", and every scene with Robert Patrick in it. After seeing the new MickeyG version, I had a time trying to remember anything at all.

The new Playmates Terminator: Salvation toy line is much the same. They look nothing like their movie counterparts, plastic quality looks cheap, and the paint applications are basic. I don't know why they bothered with the bigger scale at all as it just makes the flaws that much easier to see. About the only thing I wanted from their line was the new Terminator costume pieces, the ones that you stick to your face and arms? I know you were thinking of buying them and going to a meeting with those on your face and a pair of red contacts.

Thankfully, the new movie has one shining silver lining. It allowed NECA to do a couple more figures that do justice to the classic Terminator. So far, I've only seen three of the 5 figures slated to be in this line. 2Rats (and by extension Toy Kingdom) is selling wave 1 of the series; the "T-800 Endoskeleton", "Pescadero Escape", and "Man and Machine". I'm still hoping that the "Cyberdyne Showdown", and "Final Battle" will be brought in since I really REALLY want that mini-gun and grenade launcher.

Even if they don't get the second part of the line, I'm completely satisfied getting one nice Arnold Schwarzenheimer figure at this scale. The 6" scale is great, but the 7"ers are good too. There's a ton more details that are added into that extra inch, but there is a corresponding price. NECA figures in the Philippines go for about p1,200.00, while DC Universe Classic (near enough to 7" scale) figures go for about p1,300.00. They're also a lot harder to find since only 2Rats brings them in and only a few Toy Kingdom branches get them. I got mine at TK Megamall.

I know that there are the 1/6 scale adherents, but even if I HAD the money to really go that route, I'd rather have toys that were meant to be handled and played with. The Model 101 is a great example of the kind of detail you can smoosh into something this size.

The package is like most NECA movie lines. The squarish clamshell is great for guys who collect toys "Mint on Card", and for loose collectors, it's easy enough to open with a knife. This is still my favorite kind of packaging since you can just cut along the bottom, slide the tray out, undo a few twisties, and about 30 minutes later, you have your toy. Slap it's bottom to make sure it's breathing and you're ready to go.

It's also easy to keep these packages and return the figure to them for storage. Or, if you decide you don't want the figure, you can sell it at minimal loss by advertising it as "Loose on Card". Sweet.

The likeness on this sculpt is superb. I saw the pics on Poe Ghostal's blog and just had to have him. NECA has been putting out some great figures based on movie licenses and they've got a nice selection in their cult classics, but this is Arnold Shcwarmenschalager. If you live in Antarctica with the penguins you probably know what he looks like. The sculptor did an excellent job giving this little guy the face of Arn.

He's got some excellent poseability as well. In the upper half anyway. Balljoint shoulders, balljoint elbows, and wrist swivels. These allow a nice range for the arms. His head is on a balljoint as well. It's really a nice one that is different from anything I've seen. Instead of a joint a the neck and one at the base of the skull, they've sculpted the head and neck together and it connects to the torso at a ball and socket joint. This looks a hell of a lot more natural than anything before it and I seriously hope Hasbro adopts it for future use.

His only accessory is his Winchester shotgun. It looks small, but I'm guessing it's actually perfectly scaled. My perception is probably just warped from the constant oversized superhero guns of the 90's. I'm thinking it would look great with my 6" Punisher since he IS a comicbook superhero. It's got amazing details on it and fits right into his hands securely. You won't need to worry about losing it at all if you display him with it in both hands.

His jacket's torso is a seperate piece, but it's not removable. It is however speckled with lots of little bullet holes. How's that for an eye for detail? Excellent.

He has a few extra points of articulation; A cut waist which is functional, ball jointed ankles, which are just about useless and one cut joint on his left thigh which is MORE than useless. Don't get the idea that he is any kind of poseable from the waist down. The thigh cut is best left alone since his legs don't look right if you do move it, and it's pointless to move his ankles since the legs don't move. Why they bothered is a mystery, but it's a small complaint considering the rest of the toy.

Bottom line: NECA's Pescadero Escape figure from their Terminator 2 license is all it's cracked up to be... for collectors and fans. If you're a dilettante, forget it. You'll probably regret spending for it and are better off sticking with the mass market toys.

Drag Me to Hell

It's been awhile since I've actually been scared while watching a horror movie. After 20 years worth of watching films from all over the world, I've become understandably jaded. I don't cringe during The Sixth Sense, I don't faint during The Ring, and I thought The Blair Witch Project was a piece of crap that should never see release in any other form ever again. When a friend comes up to me and tells me the latest J-horror film is really REALLY scary, my standard reaction is, "meh."

And American horror is the worst of it (well, Pinoy horror is the worst, but it's so bad I don't even count it). There have been some gems that have come from Hollywood, but for the most part, the American Horror movie industry sticks to a methodology of movie-making that seems to only satisfy American Horror movie fanatics. There's the slasher flick, where people are pursued by a monster in human form who tends to kill his victims in the most ludicrously brutal way imaginable. There's torture porn, where victims are held captive and sick, deranged experiments are done to them. There's the ghost-story-as-action-flick variety that doesn't even bother to try and scare, just gives you alot of fancy special effects and pretty girls. And then there are the sub-genre films like Vampire movies and Zombie movies, which are usually either another effects driven vehicle or a campy B-movie.

None of these really gives me a fright, though after Hostel, I did swear off torture porn...

But Sam Raimi is proof that there are still guys in Hollywood that have the talent. He is a geek's geek. A guy who seems to love what he's doing, but knows how to do it. Along with Joss Whedon, Kevin Smith, Bryan Singer, Alex Proyas, Stan Lee and Peter Jackson, they make up my Pantheon of Geek Gods. He pretty much re-invented the comic book super hero movie with Spider-man. Let's face it, Dark Knight was great, so was Iron Man, but with out Spider-man, neither would have made it out of the pitch.

Drag Me to Hell is a little diffrent from Spider-man, obviously, and it's a a little different from other American horror movies. Many people compare it with the Evil Dead series and Army of Darkness, but I always thought those films had a generous amount of camp in them and were more like Zombie movies, more comedy than horror. This one is not; it's a horror movie with a lot of laughs thrown in.

Now I don't want to spoil anything for people who haven't watched it, but lets face it, the theme of the movie is pretty straight forward. What you don't get from the title, you get from the poster. She's cursed. She gets dragged to Hell. Period. It's the stuff that happens in between that's so much fun.

Well that, and some of the stuff right before. The beginning sequence is great, and really puts you in the right place for this kind of flick. By minute 5, you're date/scaredy cat friend will be covering their face and whimpering beside you. After the initial fireworks, things slow down for some basic exposition, but pick right up.

The movie is not for the faint of heart or for the squeamish. If the mere mention of phlegm is enough to make you gag, save yourself the trouble of cleaning up. If you don't like dead bodies, body parts and/or bodily fluids, then don't bother paying for the ticket. This movie will ruin your day. If, however, you find the use of these cinematic tools exciting, then Drag Me to Hell is right up your alley.

Get some rest before hand. As a friend of mine observed after the ride, all that screaming is "exhausting".

Generation 1 Legends Class Transformers

It's estimated that the human brain stores info on an internal hard disk drive that has about 1000 terrabytes of storage space. For those of you that don't know the difference between RAM and ROM, that's a lot. I, on the other hand, seem to be an older model, running with some thing like a few hundred gigs. There's only so much that will stick, and it's hard to find what I need when I need it. I may need to start a new filing system or something.

Of course the stuff that does stick is usually obscure geek culture references to the odd 80's cartoon, movie, music icon, etc. I couldn't tell you what I had for lunch yesterday, or where I was last Friday morning, but I can tell you that Visionaries, Sky Commanders, and Inhumanoids only had 13 episodes apiece but were loads better than the crap they feed kids today. I even forget about the toys I'm supposed to be on the look out for.

The Transformers Universe Classic Wave which had a great lineup of Generation 1 characters was one I was looking forward to. Unfortunately, it was released locally when I was on one of my self-imposed exiles from the toy stores after a particularly heavy round of shop hopping. Fortunately, I spend an obscene amount of time on the local toy boards while at work and was able to get a heads up before they dissappeared completely. Unfortunately, alot of other people were after these toys as well and the bigger sites were cleaned out as soon as that yellow tag appeared. Fortunately, I was able to get most of them at my own personal little-toystore-that-time-forgot, Toy Kingdom at The Podium.

I love how the universe works itself out in the end.

Let's start with Brawn.

He's a good figure for his size, and has the requisite shoulder, hip, and knee movements. There are no elbows, so that's a minus for him, but since the scale is so small, there are really only a few that have them.

He looks good in robot form, but the when in vehicle mode, his feet stick out below his chassis. They're very obvious if you view him from the side, and don't look anything but other than what they are, big robot clown feet. It would have been great if they folded up into the body.

Next up is Cosmos.

I really like this one, despite it's oddness. Because of his weird vehicle mode, a flying saucer (X-Files Flashback! X-Files Flashback!) his arms are locked in a pose that looks like he's about to bear hug Brawn. it's a weird looking, but you can forgive a lot at this scale.

He does come with extra paint aps, too. Some alien writing on his surface. Looks like Arabic, or Korean, or Klingon. Fitting since he's a UFO. I'm sure he knows the Vulcan neck pinch, too.

The footprint he has also makes him hard to stand. The hollow backside, lack of an ankle, and his loose joints mean you'll need to work a bit to get him stable. Other than that, Cosmos is probably one of the funnest toys in a while.

Beachcomber, the Autobot stoner is up next.

This guy annoyed the hell out of me when I was a kid, but this version looks really nice. He reminds me of Snake Eyes, with his googles. He's the only one of these toys to come with a gun. It's a detachable machine gun in the back (though WHY it detaches is a mystery, since he can hold it in robot mode). His vehicle mode is an upgraded, more modern dune buggy. It looks like something out of a military video game... if it wasn't blue of course.

He shares the same articulation as Brawn, which is great. It gives him a few good poses. His transformation scheme is alot like the old mini-bots; flip open the hood to form feet, pull out the arms, presto! I'm not complaining. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Hound was one of the last ones I got, mostly because I wasn't sure if I was goin to get him.

Unlike most of these guys, Hound never was a mini-bot. He was the equivalent of a Deluxe Class toy back in in the day of 2-points-of-articulation. So this update is kind of weird, especially since they just did one in the Deluxe scale. Still, it's nice to have him with the others to display, so here he is.

I will say that he has a nicer paint job than most of them. The others seem to lack alot of applications, having many spots where it just looks like Hasbro dropped the ball and just plain DIDN'T paint areas. Thankfully, Hound has less of that.

Jazz was the first one I bought, since he was my favorite as a kid.

I don't know why he's not in the Deluxe Class either. He was the same size as Hound during the early years, and he certainly deserves it. I'm sure every Transformers fanboy remembers "Jazz to Moonbase-2! Jazz to Moonbase-2". He was the cool guy before Blaster appeared on the scene.

This is a worthy homage to him, with the necessary 6-point articulation, and an extra 2 (ankles) thrown in. Unfortunately, this is one of those with the aforementioned unpainted areas. Notice his door windows? blah.

There are a few bots from Season 2 present, first among them Hot Rod.

I don't care what other fans say, I loved Hot Rod in the movie and cartoon. He was the underdog hero with the cool scenes. The race up and down the mountain, the underwater nightmare, the Galvatron beat-down. I really can't wait for the Fans Project upgrade of the Classics version.

This little one is a pretty good rendition too. He's got the flames, the young look, the red paint. Not as great as the Transformers Classic, and no where near perfect, but a nice little figure.

Wheelie is the other bot from the movie.

Unlike Hot Rod, he was annoying as hell. The toy's good though. He lacks knee articulation (well, articulation in the right direction anyway) but he's a great nod to the G1 character. He even has the "ballcap".

The best one in the bunch, hands down, is Warpath.

Aside from having the best articulation (he has elbows!), his bot form is the most convincing. He just looks the part of his character and every time I play with the toy, I can't help but yell, "BANG! KA-POW! ZING!" just like he used to in the cartoon.

I wish they had given him Ultra Class treatment like Powerglide, another mini-bot who got an upgrade that was more realistic scale wise. I mean Warpath is a TANK and he's tiny. Oh, well.

The most dissapointing one for me was Bumblebee.

I spent weeks looking for this guy, since he was the only one I couldn't find at Podium. After getting one, I wished that I could get those weeks back, since he was a pretty crappy bot.

The first thing I notice was that he's huge compared to the others. He's taller than most of the other figures in his wave. What? He's BUMBLEBEE. Hello? Even the Transformers Animated Legends Bee was smaller than the others.

Another thing is that he's got no knees. what a gyp.

In the end. I'm glad I was able to complete the wave. Well, except for Megatron. But he's not an Autobot, so meh. They whole set looks much better displayed together than one by one, and it's an excellent group to have on your desk at work.

Revenge of the Fallen: Sideswipe

You got to applaud Michael Bay. Hack director or not, he knows his shit when it comes to making money. Instead of upfront payment as a director, the man now demands a slice of net profits. That means whatever money one of his movies brings in after the studio expenses, he gets a percentage. For "Pearl Harbor" it was 50%. Who knows how much how much it was for the Transformers movie or for the sequel.

He gets the same kind of deal for the toyline. According to Forbes, The Bayman gets an estimated 8% royalty on Transformer toy profits. Imagine the kind of moolah that brings in? Every time you go to the toy store and pick up a new movie toy, a few pesos are going into this doink's pocket.

It's almost enough to make me want to return my Sideswipe.

Almost.

Apparently, this new bot is the cream of the crop from Wave 2 of the new Revenge of the Fallen Toyline. It's not hard to understand why. The toy is the epitome of slick, with a great vehicle and robot form, a gimick that doesn't completely suck, and a paint job that rivals the ones on Premium Jazz from the first movie.

Overall, Sideswipe definitely deserves the praise he's been getting on the forums, and the attention he's been getting from scalpers. You'd be lucky to find this guy in toy stores nowadays. As soon as he's re-stocked, their picked up by either voracious collectors, or opportunistic specialty stores to re-sell. I've been actively searching for one since missing out on it during the toy lauch a few weeks ago and have seen him for more than 200% of retail at several shops. Luckily, I was able to find one in Kidstation in Greenbelt.

Naturally, I did the Meposian Dance of Joy and ran to the cash register, cash in hand.

I don't know how accurate to the original his back story is, but the toy itself isn't too close to the G1 Sideswipe. For one thing, he was a red Lambourghini. This guy's a silver concept Corvette. Pretty looking thing really, almost nice enough to replace the Shelby GT as my favorite car. While I wish they had stuck with the nice candy apple red of the original, this silver finish is really beautiful for a mass market toy.

There are problems with the silver paint though. From looking at Sideways and the old Premium Jazzes, there's a high chance of an error somewhere. Dust, scratches, globs of paint on the surface, or at the edges. I can see it's going to be hard to keep this guy in pristine condition.

There is also the fact that unlike the old Premium line, He doesn't get much paint on the internal parts. Alot of his robot parts are just cast plastic. Not really bad, and totally understandable considering costs, but It would have been nice to see a few more paint apps on his arms and legs.

The transformation to robot is unique. It's nowhere near as hard as the Leader Class Prime, but it's very satisfying for an old fan like me. It's not something rehashed from past bots for one thing. You basically start by pulling out his arms from the rear, opening the hood and flipping down his legs, locking the chest in place. You can do it in a minute or two.

There is another quality issue on mine where the hood halves don't lay flush together. You can see it in one of the pictures above. I think there may be some extra plastic in one of the tabs underneath that is preventing it, but I'm loath to mess with it.

He's got the chicken legs that are becoming so popular in the Bayverse. The biggest problem he has really is the feet, and it's one I can't understand. They're made from the corners of his hood, and aside from being backwards, they are not flat. This makes him a real bitch to stand up, forget any kick tests. If you have any stands from other toy lines like Gundam or Revoltech, I suggest you use them.

His gimick is his "swords" which while generally looking the part, don't really sell themselves as blades. They are way to thick and look more like exactly what they are, pieces of his doors. Still, it's a nice little tick that you can add on, and I can forgive them that since it is made for kids.

The door pieces are geared, so when you turn one, the other turns with it. You can leave them up, like in the photo above, or you leave them in the middle, you get Edward Scissorhands.

He's also got this "Mech Alive" malarky that is on all the new toys. It's a ridiculous marketing ploy that touts it self as pieces of armor that move to the ideal angle that will deflect incoming laser attacks. piffle. On Sidswipe, you'll find it on his knees. If you move his leg, a blue piece on the front moves out. Nothing that adds anything to the toy, but nothing that subtracts from it either.

With all the ball joints on this sucker, you'll get him in some great poses, but with his feet, you'll need the aforementioned stand for him to keep any of them. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of him standing on his wheels like rollerblades, but there should have been an extra piece that would allow for some stability.

That being said, he's a great toy and shoud be added to any shopping list of fans.

Dirge vs. Roadbuster

I reviewed the Springer vs. Ratbat boxset a while back and alot of the same things can be said of this one. Thanks to Hasbro's need to clear the shelves for the coming of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, Playkit, the local distributor was able to get a ton of cheap Transformers and give everyone a chance at figures that we weren't able to score when the first movie came out.

It was a great move on the part of the distributor, since many new kids and collectors were introduced to the various Transformer lines and were parents were actually able to afford them despite the economic downturn. In addition, the deluge of cheaper toys has fueled a frenzy of demand that I'm sure hasn't been seen in a long time. If you were at the Revenge of the Fallen Toy Launch held in Megamall on March 30, 2009, then you saw first hand how big Transformers has become. Brand recognition hasn't been this good since the 80's.

Anyway, among those bargin bin toy sets that are filling shelves in Toy Kingdom, the Target Exclusive two-pack, "Autobot Ambush" is one of those with the best value.

The box has two Transformers in it, one Voyager Class, and one Deluxe, which is why this is such a great deal. Usually, this set is priced at about p2200-2500, but thanks to Playkit and Hasbro, we can enjoy a sweet sweet price of just p1000.00. That's the same price as some of the other Voyager Class toys from the Movie line that are on sale. And these sets even come with a comic (though it's not a great one).

Out of the box, they look kind of mis-matched. The odd color choices are a turn off for me. I would have preferred a more realistic scheme for Roadbuster than the orange and green, and the freakishly bright blue of Dirge just screams "SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME!.

Since these two are both re-paints from older toy lines, they don't really fit in perfectly with the newer figures. Some of their joint work is obviously a little older and you won't be getting them into any super acrobatic poses. Still, the Cybertron line was pretty good compared to the old bricks articulation wise so these remain pretty fun.

Roadbuster is a great figure despite the fact that he isn't really in scale if he really is an APC. At the Deluxe size, he's comparable to the tiny Transformers Universe Galvatron, who was a tiny tiny tank. Next to the other Deluxe cars, he's puny. Really really miniscule. itty bitty.

But like I said, there are things that make up for these little things. For one, his robot mode looks totally amazing. He looks like a little unruly schoolyard devil looking for trouble. It's perfect for a member of the Wreckers, and if they would go ahead and make a DECENT Springer already, this toy would look great right along side him.

Another thing about the Deluxe figure in this set is the articulation. He's very good considering the age of the mold. Though some of the arcs are interrupted (like his knee joints) by the body or kibble, for the most part, he's got pretty much what you need from a Transformer toy. It's not Marvel Legends level articulation, but he stands well, and doesn't look like a brick doing it.

The best thing about him is the hidden missle racks. Sure he's got two top-mounted machine guns, but that doesn't cut it considering the advance armor tech Cybertronians are bound to enjoy. If you remember Robotech (or Macross and the thousand rip-offs thereof) then you probably wowed at the little boxes of tiny missles that went every which way but straight ahead and then proceeded to blow up a cloud of enemies. It was like the opposite of a GI Joe vs Cobra firefight. Never understood how anyone survived those exchanges.

Well, Roadbuster is packing 6 hidden missle racks while he's in robot mode. There are two on his shoulders you just open, two on his legs you have to flip over, and two more that are unlocked using the Cybertron key gimmick (my collection of Cybertron molds is growing, but I still am not sold on this key thing). He's a veritable wall of ordanance by himself, and what he lacks in size, he makes up for in firepower. If that weren't enough, he's got a little detachable sword in case he runs out of gunpowder.

The APC mode is ok, but nothing to write home about. This is where the weird color combos really show up. The orange, brown and green make him look very odd. I would have prefered a more realistic look to him.

The only missle rack you see in this mode is the ones inside his guns. You can activate it the same way, using his key. It look really unusual though, so I keep 'em closed.

Unlike most people buying this set, I prefer the Dirge toy to Roadbuster though. He's bigger, being a Voyager Class toy and his color scheme is less ridiculous. The blue and black go well (though still too bright), and though I could do without the browns, it's passable. I do like how his face is black. Makes him look... shifty.

I prefer him in robot mode to his jet mode. It's not that the jet mode is bad, it's just that his robot form is so much more fun. He comes with a spring-loaded weapon that acts as a pistol for the robot or a cannon for the jet. Like Roadbuster, Dirge shares a Cybertronian feature and it unlocks two blades hidden in his wings. They pop out when you insert the key in his back. They make for great looking weapons, though because of his bulk, alot of the articulation they've given him is limited in range.

There is a quality concern with his swords. On mine, the key mechanism isn't fully functional and it doesn't allow the sword on one side to extend. The lock won't disengage. It's really frustrating and I have to get a knife to pry out the sword if I change my displays. I don't know if it's like this with all of them, but it's something you might consider before buying one.

His jet mode is pretty straight forward. A "futuristic" spaceship. It doesn't look all that great, but I find it fun. Much better than the "Cybertronian jets" we've been getting from the movie lines. The pop-out swords still work while he's in this form, but look kind of silly. There are Legends Class toys based on this mold that have gun barrels instead of swords, and I think that might have been a better choice of weapon.

Both of the toys have a pretty simple transformation scheme, an they're both fairly obvious. If you can't transform them without the instructions, you deserve to get your fanboy badge revoked. This isn't a bad thing, since simple transformations allow you to have alot more fun with the toys. Witness the incredibly complex Revenge of the Fallen Leader Class Prime. Level 4 complexity means about 15 minutes from robot to truck. There's only so long I can do the "choo-chew-chu-chew" noise before I turn blue in the face.

Both Dirge and Roadbuster are good toys. Getting them together for p1000.00 is even better. If you don't have either molds from their previous releases, I highly recommend getting this set while you still can.

Return of the Fallen: Scout Class Assortment 1

Of all the sizes of Transformers today, I think the Scout Class is by far my favorite. They are just the right size to allow you to play with them at your desk, transform in a reasonable amount of time, and allow for some decent articulation. Legends Class figures are cute, but many have horrible articulation and can't really do anything. Leader Class figures are expensive and their "Level 4" transformations are way too involved to go over it regularly. Scout Classes are just right.

Which is why when I was given the chance to buy either the new Deluxe movie toys or these new Scout robots, I chose these.

There are supposed to be 6 new Scouts in the assortments for the new Revenge of the Fallen movie, but only 4 have made it to our shore so far. They are Dirt Boss, Dead End, Rollbar, and Knock Out. Depthcharge and Ransack will come in later assortments I assume.

The packages for Scout Class figures never really changes. They are always on blister packs, with cards that display their two forms. This time around, they come in robot form. The price has jumped from it's p500.00 mark when the original movie came out to now p650.00. Considering a Deluxe figure goes for p700.00, it's hard to justify the price hike. Word has it that the Deluxe assortments will get their price hike too, so maybe it's not so bad.

Out of the package, these are just as cool as any Transformer I have in my collection. Each has excellent articulation and unlike most movie toys, a relatively un-silly robot form. First up is Knock Out.

He has a transformation similar to the Arcee/Elita mold from Energon, which isn't bad. I think most will agree that that is the best way to transform a motorcycle to a robot. He shares the same wheels over the shoulder design she had, so it looks as if he's got a jetpack attached. His exhaust forms a gun, which is a great little touch.

Articulation is excellent, second only to Dirt Boss. His paint and colors are really nice, making him good for just about any mission. I really like his sculpt, and if you want, you could even use him as a bike for 1:18th scale figures. Or at least Microman scale.

Dirt Boss is my third on my list. He has excellent articulation, better than any, with some wrist and ankle action thown in. I love the fact that he transforms into a forklift. It's just so backwards. What do you change into. A Porche! Well I'm a FORKLIFT!

His forks (?) become his weapons. Twin blades that are slung underneath his arms. They look kind of bulky. I'd love to see some kind of add on to turn them into chain guns for some real bad-assery.

Roll Bar is probably my least favorite. He's got a nice transformation, mostly shell-former with a little twist thrown in. I would have liked him better if he looked more like a FedEx or UPS van, and didn't have such a long torso and short arms. It really looks un-proportioned. Still, his decent articulation and fun factor really count for alot.

Dead End is just plain cool. From the time I read his description, I couldn't wait to play with him. It says he walks around on all fours and tends to suck other Decepticons dry without them realizing it. It sounds alot like the old Night Vipers from GI Joe.

His articulation is weird, with his arms limited by the big panels and his feet not really lending themsleves well to him crawling. But with a little imagination, he can be pouncing on bots in no time.

So bottom line. Are they good? Yes. Definitely. If you have the scratch, go out and find them.

Are they value for your money? Absolutely not. These things are about 3-4" tall. At p650.00 a pop, they aren't cheap. If you're on a budget and only want the core bots, I suggest getting the Deluxe assortment.

Return of the Fallen

Leader Class Optimus Prime

If you read any of my reviews of the toys from the first movie, you'll not that I'm not really a fan of the line. There are alot of things they try that doesn't really work. The original Voyager Starscream, the Voyager Ironhide, and the abyssmal Leader Class Megatron, which frankly belonged in the bargin bin it ended up in. As the second movie approached, Hasbro needed to get rid of the their leftover stocks, so local distributors got a great deal on the toys which translated to very, very happy kids and collectors here in the Philippines.

Among that sea of blah product, I found the original Transformers the movie Leader Class Optimus Prime. This was the one Transformers Movie toy that I could not stop playing with. It had all these great things going for it. Heft, electronics sound and lights, articulation, a spring-loaded projectile launcher, rubber tires, a a great look that was worthy of the name "Prime".

Skip to today. Hasbro releases the toys for the second movie. Overall, I think they did a fantastic job. Not only did they bring back favorites (re: re-paints) like Ratchet, Ironhide, and Bumblebee, they gave us brand new characters, and still managed made new molds for some of the biggies. Megatron (aka "Chickenwing"), Starscream (a huge improvement), and Optimus Prime.

The new Leader Class Optimus Prime comes packaged in a box that is more well designed than the original. At first I didn't like the look of them, since it looked like it was complicated and going to be quite a job opening from the pictures, but it turns out, the box is perfect. It's just big enough to offer some protection, but not too big to waste tons of space. It's has a nice window on the front to show off the figure, and even windows on the side. It opens like a REGULAR BOX. You cut the tape on the side and open it, sliding out the tray. How INGENIOUS! There a few twist ties to go through, but once they're cut through, you're good to go.

Out of the box, he's a monster of a robot. He's easily a head taller than the old Leader Class Prime, with a sleeker, more "athletic" build. It really is amazing how they've engineered him to have the least amount of kibble he possibly could. The first release had an odd sort of backpack with all this extra truck stuff, plus little doohickeys and thingamajigs that were obviously after thoughts that didn't have anywhere to go. This guys all put together. There is still a backpack, but it looks more like it's supposed to be there, like it houses important, FUNCTIONAL gadgetry.

Articulation is even better than the first Optimus. Because his legs are longer, he can have a much wider stance. His arms as well have a range of movement that just boggles the mind. His feet still retain the ball joints the first one had, but they're much more useful now.

If there was a two-handed sword that came with him, I'm sure that he could hold it above his head and swing for the fences. He's even able to look down in a way, thanks to a little extension that has to do with his transformation.

He still has the whole electronic lights and sounds gimmck that kids seem to love. In Robot mode, he says "I am Optimus Prime" over and over again. In truck mode, there's a sound that I suppose is something like a truck rollign along the highway. When you transform him, there's also an automatic "Transformation" sound (It's triggered by a hidden switch which really sucks). If you're a dad, I'd think twice about buying this for your son as all three sounds will be triggered when he transforms this thing, which can get really REALLY irritating.

Speaking of transformations, this has got to be the toughest sonofabitch I've ever come across. I love trying to figure out how to change a bot to vehicle without the instructions, but after a good hour trying to figure out how to get the cab to come down, I gave in.

I shouldn't have bothered. It turns out, the instructions are worthless. due to the way he transforms, the graphics on the sheet are useless in illustrating what you need to do.

I got about here when I gave up:

After struggling with him for that hour, one of his chest pieces finally came off and I realized it was supposed to. You took them off like so:

And locked them into place beneath the hood cover, like so:

Sad to say, the vehicle mode leaves something to be desired.

I don't know if I was spoiled by the first toy, or if it really is a reality, but the Return of the Fallen Optimus seems to be much cheaper than it's predecessor. First off, you'll notice he's smaller than the older one. Though he towers over him in robot form, in vehicle mode, he's slightly smaller in dimensions. His wheels are noticably smaller too.

Speaking of wheels, the new one's are made of crappy plastic, not the excellent rubber tires of the first one. That feature sold me on the first one, and it's lack in the new one is a big mark against it. There's also the problem of his articulation. Though he does have some great arm movement, his leg joints leave something to be desired. His knew and ankle joints are good, but his thigh cuts are not. For some weird reason, mine are locked and can only rotate a few degrees, which makes all the other articulation less useful. Talk about aggravating. They also did away with the individual fingers. One of the best features in my opinion.

You'll also note that if you were lucky or hard working enough to get yourself a Premium Optimus Prime during the overstock sales, then you've seen the nice sheen on the toy. The Nightwatch Prime shares the same kind of finish, which almost looks like metal. The plastic on the new one looks like the cheap cast plastic you'll find in most toys, and it doesn't have much in the way of paint apps to cover for it. The plastic of the smokestacks really annoys as well, since they're translucent and bend much too easily.

Lastly, the swords. While the idea of Prime having two pop-out weapons to kick Decepticon tail with is all sorts of awesome, I do wish they didn't pop-out every time you blew on them. It's impossible to keep they in place while transforming him, and when he's in robot mode, it's impossible to pose him satisfactorily unless they're out. They do not fit well in on his arms in the folded position and you can't hid them. Personally, I liked the one you could remove.

Overall, I think that thought the new Optimus is a nice piece of engineering wizardry, it's inferior to the first set of Leader Class toys. The points covered above take alot away from him. If you don't have any of the first batch of Primes (regular, Nightwatch, or Premium), I'd say get him. If you do, then he's not really a must buy.

Then again, This might all change when the Leader Class Jetfire comes out. The combined mode might push this Prime over the edge.

Terminator: Salvation

When I heard about another Terminator film being done I was apprehensive. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines wasn't worthy of the the series, which started with the original in 1984 and continued with Judgement Day in 1991. Considering how director James Cameron pushed the envelope on both of those movies in terms of action, drama, and special effects, the third installment was a poor substitute. I mean why would Skynet go from a hulk like Arnold, to a bad-ass metamorph like Robert Patrick, to a crappy girl Terminator who can remote control cars? I fail to see the logic in that progression.

Likewise, while I watch Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, it's not wowing me. All melodrama, very little action, and if you watch The Big Bang Theory, you're probably familiar with Sheldon and Leonard's debate about Summer Glau's character. "T-800 > T-1000 > Nubile Teenage Killer Robot" does not really compute. Hmm... Nubile Teenage Killer Robot. NTKR? The only thing the series really has going for it are Glau, Headey, and Jacobsen. And their hotness is overpowered by the suck of that 90210 guy and Shirley Manson.

In addition to the crappy stuff that the franchise has been putting out, Hollywood decided to put the cleverly named "McG" at the helm of the fourth film in the series. While I will admit that I thouroughly enjoyed the Charlie's Angels movies, the annoucement painted pictures of Brett Ratner's X-men. Could this guy who's known for his fun-filled comedies give something so dark as a Terminator movie? Could he keep it straight and give us something that didn't result in a Dis Continuity and make us want to ret con the entire story out of canon?

Well the answer is "yes". While Salvation is by no means a Terminator 2, "McG" reins in his funny bone and gives us something that sounds and looks like it belongs in the franchise. It has the action that you've come to expect from one of these flicks and a few nods to the films that came before. The atmosphere of 2018 Earth is appropriately dark, dirty, and filled with nasty robots waiting to crush pink, squishy humans.

The best part about part 4 of the series is that we finally get a look at the post-Judgement Day Earth. Pos-apocalyptic landscapes make for damned entertaining movies. Judge Dredd, Twelve Monkeys, The Road Warrior, the entire zombie genre. They're are alot of them in my collection that I enjoy watching. Ever seen Red Dawn? Patrick Swayze as a resistance commando. Ever seen Steel Dawn? Patrick Swayze as a desert road warrior, with swords. Dirty Dancing? Patrick Swayze as a dance instructor in a post-apocalyptic Catskills Mountain Resort.

The man is a CHAMELEON!

But I digress. We only ever got to see the the scorched Earth in little flashbacks and dream sequences, so getting a look at how the people of the Terminator future-verse live is pretty cool. It's sort of like a low-tech Matrix setting. You'll see alot of wrecked cars and rubble. Smoke, and fire. Dust. Debris. Skulls being stepped on. Robots being smashed. The usual.

We also get a few new Terminator models. By now you've probably seen the trailer and seen the different Hunter/Killer models. There's a cool new gimick for a bunch of them where they "volt-in" for easy transport. Or more like those Russian Matryoshka dolls; big one, little one, litter one.

We also get a look at some of the older models, before Cyberdyne got it's fingers into cybernetics. The T-600 looks kind of silly with it's little bandana and torn coat, but the T-800 still rocks. There is also a new Terminator infiltrator, but if I go too much into it people will start screaming SPOILER! Honestly, the twist isn't that much of a shock as McG and friends aren't making Dark City or Soylent Green here.

My favorite by far is the new road Hunter/Killer. I think Ducati had something to do with it's construction, which is why it looks so great, but the real reason I like it is due to a nice little nod to T2. Connor sets up a trap for one of them by turning up an old school boom box playing "You Could Be Mine" by Guns 'n' Roses. This is almost as cool as Karl Urban calling Spock a "Green-blooded Hobgoblin"

Speaking of Star Trek, I think Abrams successful relaunch of a franchise has left me spoiled. Though T4 is a fun romp, there are parts where it drags. It's mostly parts where they need to develop character, blah blah blah, but I would have preferred some extended guerilla fighting since the writing isn't all that great.

What action scenes there are are fun though, and the effects team seems to know what they're doing. There aren't any cheesy frame animated sequences here. According to "McG", he wanted a real actor or animatronic on stage with the actors as much as possible which really does get a much nicer result.

Casting is another thing that is pretty good. Bale is a good Connor, though I think he may be channeling a little to much Dark Knight leftovers. There are times when he starts using that weird voice and your totally taking out of the picture. I like Sam Worthington's Marcus. Though he's a new character, you really begin to cheer for him more and more as the story progresses. Helena Bonham Carter is pretty good as a Cyberdyne doctor early on in the film, and she looks great as when she reappears as one of the bad guys.

The standout is Anton Yelchin as Kyle Reese. I swear as soon as he came on screen and opened his mouth I could just see him as a young Michael Biehn. Having just seen him as Chekov in Star Trek made it twice as nice. I really want to see more of this guy.

Another person I want to see more of is Moon Bloodgood. "McG" sure knows how to pick his eye candy. She is like a hotter, taller version of Kristin Kreuk, but she knows how to act. And despite being in full flight gear for most of the picture, she still looks unbeliably sexy. Here's hoping that topless scene is featured as an extra when the 2 disc set comes along!

I was hoping to see more from Bryce Dallas Howard as Connor's girlfriend (wife?). I think it's a nod to the third movie since I remember there were lines in there that said that he had a wife who fought with him. Howard is a welcome improvement over Claire Danes, but she really doesn't have all that much to do other than look worried.

Which brings me the real reason that this isn't a great movie. It feels more like an introduction to a new trilogy. You know the old tag line, "the beginning of the end"? Well this is it. It feels like we're watching a TV pilot with a big budget rather than a stand alone movie. It doesn't help that the lame ending tries to milk a few tears out of the audience by giving us a half-assed redux of Arnold's sacrifice at the end of T2.

I'm really hoping that it does well enough to give us a few more.

Yoko (Movie Version)

What's better than one redhead in a bikini and hot pants? Two redheads in bikinis and hot pants with really big guns!

Having already bought the TV Version of Yoko, I couldn't resist getting the second, more "mature" Kaiyodo release. Apparently, this version is supposed to be Yoko after several years. She's grown into her role (whatever that is - I really need to watch this series) and filled out her - ahem. Well, you know. Just look at the pics.

Now if you bought the first one, you might ask, "why buy a second figure?". Well when you get right down to it, you shouldn't. At p1,300.00, these toys aren't cheap. You can get a Leader Class Transformer figure at Toy Kingdom for around that much and they're a heck of a lot bigger than either of these two. For that matter, you could probably invest that money somewhere else. In fact, stop reading this review and go to a bank. It's too late for us. Save yourself.

However, if you're still reading, there are 3 people who should be getting this. If you're a lonely geek who enjoys having plastic representations of fantasy females adorning his shelf (raises hand), then yes, you should fork over the grand to get this thing, even if you have already bought the first one. If you're an old collector who knows how to unload unwanted figures, then you can also get this one, keep the parts you want and sell the other figure cheap. It's actually a better buy than the first release because it has better paint applications, more accessories, and bigger - ahem. Well, look at the pictures.

The best of the new accessories is the new guns. No not the above guns. The actual, bullet firing kinds. In addition to the sniper rifle, she also has a nice new pistol that fits right into her right hand. It's a little loose, but that just means that it's easier to slip in and out. A good thing because her trigger hand looks really delicate. You're going to want to be real careful not to lose parts from these guys. I keep all my small Revoltech parts in 35mm film canisters so they don't get lost.

The second new weapon is an assault rifle. It looks like it's the main body of her rifle broken down, but it looks lethal. I really like this one and it's normally the one I display her with.

In addition to her two new guns, Kaiyodo included a slightly darker version of her sniper rifle. It's the same mold, so you can have one of the Yokos hold both if you wanted and really have a kick-ass heroine blowing holes in your robots.

She also comes with a pair of chopsticks.

Say what? Yeah. Y'know how her hair is held up by those two yellow sticks? well she has a pair of them and extra hands so she can use them as weapons. Too cool.

And as is apparent from the pictures, she also comes with extra hair, molded to look as if she's let it down for the day. It's a very nice include and differentiates it a lot from the first one. And she still has the pony tail from the first figure as well, so you're getting two in one basically.

Overall, I'd say this figure is well worth the p1,300.00. It's a very well made figure, with several nice add-ins to give you plenty of display options. If you haven't bought the first one, then I'd suggest you mosey on over to WasabiToys, or GreatToys and pick one up ASAP. They're not going to last very long.

Revoltech Yoko

I don't buy very many anime figures. Mostly because I'm not a fan of a lot of the TV series these toys are often based on. Japanese storytelling sensibilities are the complete opposite of Western storytelling, and as a kid who spent most of his Elementary school days in the library, wading through aliterations to Japanese mytho-historical figures can be tedious. Compound that with either overly exuberant fan-subs with often vague allusions to Japanese pop-culture or barely intelligible translations from Chinese pirates who downloaded the mpeg from a Pakistani, who copied it from some Russian who recieved it via email from his Pinoy Multiply contact, who got it through torrent from some geek in his basement in Arkansas who burned it from the original courtesy of a Japanese friend.

It's just too much trouble.

So the only time you'll see me in Greenhills picking up Japanese toys is when there is a high concentration of what scientists call "bewbage". The Fräulein Revoltech Yoko figure from "Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann" definitely has a high ration of this wonderful natural resource. Ask me about this Anime series and I will look at you blankly, an perhaps drool. All I know is that it has a girl with red hair and a big gun running around in cowboy boots, hot pants and a bikini top. Who cares about the rest?

The figure comes in the standard Revoltech box. It's white, rectangular, with pretty pictures. It does what a box is supposed to do. The figure is housed in nice plastic tray that is taped shut. No twisties, no annoying excess plastic over arms which you need to cut through. You just open the cover and lift out the figure. All the parts are either held on the tray, or in back of it in small plastic bags. It's very collector friendly, though if you're not careful, the small parts may bounce out and disappear.

Speaking of accesories, she's got a few. The best part are the extra hands. I'm a big supporter of extra hands and think all toys for kids over a certain age should have them. Toybiz experimented with hand articulation back in the day with their Marvel Legends line, but it wasn't really that effective, especially with the smaller figures. You got all kinds of weird ones and you could never get them to make either a proper fist, or a proper open gesture. Yoko's got quite a few in different gestures, from open palms, to relaxed, to a peace sign (one of those allusions to Japanese pop-culture that aggravate me so).

She also comes with an extra head... and extra bangs. What? yeah. She's got an extra hair piece that goes in front of her face; one with glasses, one without. The two heads mean you can choose which figure you want to display, either Cute-as-a-button Yoko, or Gonna-kick-your-heinie-into-next-Tuesday Yoko. Both are a nice touch and the system for changing them is more effective than the Figma line's method of changing parts. You basically pull off the head, remove the hair (front and back pieces sandwich the face) and Revoltech neck joint, and then place the parts on the new head and put it back on the neck. Sort of like one of them 3-D puzzles.

The last accessory she comes with is the BFG.The thing is taller than she is if you stand it up. You can just imagine the cartridge that this sonofabitch uses. As in WHAMMO! and you've got a hole in your tank (or ginormous robot, as the case may be). In any sensible universe, a little girl like this could not hold this thing up, let alone take the recoul, but this is anime, son. Where all girls are blessed with hour-glass figures, technicolor hair, dinner plate eyes, and a penchant for wearing beachwear in public.

The gun is very delicate, which is a drawback. I can't fault the manufacturer's though, since it looks like this was the way the show's creators designed it, but you're going to want to be extra careful handling it and storing it. Both the bolt handle and the gun mount are supported/attached by very very thin pieces of plastic. If you're careless with either, they'll snap and you're gonna have a tough time getting them back on. The mount is actually detachable (there are two, on folded, one extended), but it's so hard to remove from the fragile barrel, that you might want to think twice before doing so.

The extended gun mount does allow her to take a sniper position though. With a little work, you can even have her lying down with it, just like a real commando. Let's see your puny 1/18th G.I. Joes do that, Hasbro! If you have a desert diorama and some large mecha models scattered around, she'd make a great addition to it. Though I'd imagine she'd be a bit out of scale.

The only real drawback with Fraulein Revoltech figures is the line's main draw, the articulation. The line boast of it's "Revolver" joints which are great. They allow a good range of motion and are racheted so that you can have your figures pose in some nice stances, but there are some things that detract from it. For one thing, Revoltech figures are infamous for becoming loose really fast. I have several and in a about a week you'll notice the joints don't hold as well. Since some joints (like the elbow) don't have alot of room to support a Revolver joint, they're stuck with a more basic peg. These get loose even faster than the ratcheted ones. There are supposed to be pliers that are specially made to adjust these joints, but I've yet to see one, and considering it'd be imported, I'm thinking it would be expensive.

Despite that, I think the Revoltech line is one of the best ones out there right now. Price is a little steep (they run about p1,200-p1,500 normally, depending on the figure's popularity), but they're high-quality, imported figures. It's expected that they'd be more expensive than your average Hasbro toy. If you want to collect something with a little variety, or want some female toys to spice up the sausage fest you've got going on your shelf, these Frauleins aren't a bad way to go.

They're really fun to look at, too.

Aerial Rivals & Special Team Leaders

Here's another review of another Target exclusive boxset, the Transformers Universe Legends Class 5-Packs; Aerial Rivals and Special Team Leaders.

For those of you who aren't giant Transformer geeks, Hasbro started classifying their Transformer toys by complexity, size and price when the Cybertron line came out. They had classes before then (back in G1 days it was limited to the small, medium, and not-so-large bots), but since 2005's toys, they've been pretty standardized. They had the "Legend" at $3, "Scout" at $7, "Deluxe" at $10, "Voyager" at $20, "Ultra" at $25, "Leader" at $35, and "Supreme" at $45 (values are approximate and vary quite alot).

Don't ask my why they chose those designations; they don't make any sense to me. Frankly, it would have made alot more sense to call them something that would refer to their size. Instead of "Supreme" call him "Ginormous". "Humongo". "Pequeño", "Medianamente", and "Grande" would have been good.

"I'm looking for the Pequeño Bumblebee..."

See?

Anyway, here in the PI, Legends Class Transformers go for about p300 now. Thanks to the 50% sale of the line, we can pick up these cute little buggers in single cards for just p150 a pop. Even better, if you choose to buy these two boxsets, you can get it for only p600, just p120 each! Normally I'd say "YEAH! GO GO GO!" if I heard this (though it would take me some time to run the numbers - math is my Kryptonite). But in this case I'd say "STOP!"

You counted the number of figures and divided the price among them, but did you count the number of GOOD figures? Sadly, I only like 2. Ramjet and Thrust are great little figures. While they don't look anything like their G1 counterparts, the Coneheads, they still look as if they can kick som Autobot tailpipe.

If you have a Cybertron Starscream, or the Voyager Dirge from the Target Exclusive 2-Pack, then you know what these two do. Transformation and features are virtually the same, just smaller. Both have the pop out weapons (without the Cybertron key) and a great simplified transformation scheme. They've also got really great leg and foot articulation that allows them to really pose.

And that's it. Those are really the only bots I'd recommend from both these sets. You can ignore the rest of Thrust and Ramet's batch. Blades is virtually a statue with almost no useful articulation and Skydive is annoying as hell with clown feet and his useless shield piece that doesn't know where to go. Air Raid while better than those two still has problems. He stays true to the original Cybertron Jetfire mold, but the small scale means he can't bend at the knees unless you move his boots into odd positions.

The other set, called the "Special Team Leaders" because it features the names of team captains from various combiner teams in G1, fares even worse. It's hard to believe that a cool character like Scattershot (and G1 toy by the way) becomes a repaint of the Vector Prime. It looks nice enough, but his lack of articulation means fail. Hot Zone looks ok in robot mode (still no joints), but if you transform him, he's a truck with a huge bed trailer with nothing on it. You'd think they'd give him a ladder. No such luck. Silverbolt looks nothing like the concorde he used to be. Now he's just another of the Aerialbots. His vehicle mode looks ok, plus he's got a gun in robot mode, but he doesn't look like a "Leader" at all.

Razor Claw and Hun-Gurrr fare the worst. Both are robot/animal transformers so in a bigger form, they would have a lot more parts to move around to make each of the forms look passable. With this little canvas though, both of their forms look half-assed, with bend-me-over-and-your-done changes.

Really, there is a reason these are the last of the Transformers on sale to go. Despite getting 5 toys for only p600, none of them are must haves, or even kinda wants. If you're a completist, or if you want some bots to fill the spaces on your shelves, okay buy. If you're looking for quality toys, or if your looking for a gift for some kid, there are far better things to get than these poorly done figures.

Springer vs. Ratbat

There's this blogger that makes a living off being online. Alot of people say this must be a dream job, just sitting back, writing about shit, going places, meeting people, but the reality is, he puts a hell of a lot of work into marketing himself online. The dude needs to be everywhere and needs to maintain an online presence at all times. He is a member of every social network out there and quite a few forum boards in related hobbies. He has an email list, micro-blogging accounts, and contacts up the wazoo. All of this he has to keep track of and keep updated so that traffic to his blog is constant.

Hasbro is a lot like that. Toy molds cost money. Lots of it. They want to make the most of any one mold. Repaints is one way of doing that, but there are others as well. One would be re-issues. Another is the "exclusive" release. The one I particularly enjoy is the boxset.

Whenever a big toy company releases a boxset it usually means two or more figures that were hard to find or discontinued are being reissued again with new paints. That is exactly the case with this one. "Battle Beneath the Streets" as it says on the box, contains two robots, one Voyager and one Deluxe. Though I don't think you're saving any money at retail (I think they went for p2000 when they came out), they're now avaible at p1000 thanks to these recent overstock sales on Transformers. This is great seeing as this product was a Target exclusive in the states; us Pinoys can pretty much find them with no trouble.

The two robots included are Springer and Ratbat. Springer is a repaint of the Cybertron Voyager Evac. I like the green better than the blue gray, white and orange of the original. If you prefer red, Evac was re-done and sold a second time in the Movie line, but seeing as toy goes for p1000 as well, this set is a better buy. Ratbat is a repaint of Cybertron Sideways, which again had a weird color combination. I was absent during the Cybertron days so I have no idea why they all look like jeepneys.

In the G1 continuity, Springer was a triple-changer. He could turn from car to robot to helicopter. Each of those forms was easily termed as "bad-ass". In the animated movie, he had a pretty big role and some of the coolest sequences. The original toy, like most of the G1 figures, was pretty boring. Alot of sacrifices had to be made in order to give hime 3 forms, and he looked nothing like the cool bot on screen.

Thought this rendition is a good toy, it isn't much of a Springer. His one alt mode is a rescue choper. Frankly, it looks pretty sissy next to the old futuristic copter. There aren't any guns, instead, he has working "winch weapon". What does a "winch weapon" do, pray tell?

The toys is pretty good though if you're not as biased as I am. Looking at it from a kids perspective, you gotta love it. Not only does the winch work (you press the button and it zips right back), there's also a second gimmick where you press a button and the rotors sping. I played with it for an hour making helicopter sounds and strafing bystanders. Very cool.

Ratbat is much better in my opinion. Although he's even less like his G1 counterpart than Springer is (he used to be a bat with a rat head - duh), he went up on the bad ass meter. The Sideways mold really looks good in old RB's colors. I'm telling you, purple and black. You can never go wrong if you paint a villian in purple and black.

He's sort of a weird jet. It's not that odd kind of cybertronian "jet" that Bay tried to force down our throats when he gave us Megatron. This is more recognizable as a spacecraft. The transformation to the vehicle is pretty good and everything fits together nicely.

In their robot modes, their even better. Springer still doesn't quite live up to the old days, but at least he has the rotorblades as a secondary weapon. He's got alot of useful articulation too. His winch still works, if you want to play at him lassoing Decepticons.

But I still think Ratbat is the better of the pair. He's alot more articulated, since his smaller size allows the use of ball joints and his weapons (wing-blades and an something that looks like an energon bow caster) are more menacing. Really, with all the joints on him, he's like a Decepticon ninja. Plus he has some really good light-piping for that evil eye action.

There is also a Cybertron Key gimmick. I'll just say that you stick the key in and stuff pops out. It's not really something that wows me. I pretty much just leave them one way or the other.

Overall, the set really is worth it, especially if your on a budget. If you're looking for a gift for a godson, this is the thing. Hell, if it's a goddaughter, give her one anyway. Lord knows Barbies are boring as shit.

I've been a trekkie long before I was a SciFi nut. My dad, having been a fan of the original series, watched The Next Generation (TNG) every week when I was growing up and me and my sister would thrill at the exploits of the Federation officers of the Enterprise-D. As a fan brought up on Picard and the NCC-1701-D, I never felt the same way about the crew of the Enterprise as I did about Picard, Riker, and Data. To me they were just some old farts puttering about in some tuna with rockets. The original series (TOS) was really pretty boring to anyone fed on action blockbusters from Scharwarzenneger and Stallone. We wanted stories about Klingons, the Borg, those annoying Ferengi... not episodes about Tribbles.

However, I wasn't introduced to the original cast of characters until my family got a VHS player and we started renting all these great movies to watch at home (yes, enough with the "did they have electricity back then, granpa?" jokes). It was during this time that I first saw "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" and finally, finally got the idea that all the TOS fans had all along. Where Star Trek TNG focused on fun (for a geek anyway) psuedo-science and singular character arcs, Star Trek TOS was all about the holy trinity; Kirk, Spock, and Bones. Their interactions with each other and their reactions to the amazing stimuli around them.

The scene between Kirk and Nimoy when they're asked if they like Italian... classic. Later, I was able to watch the other Star Trek movies, including "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan", where McCoy and Spock get into a heated argument about the ethical dilemma posed by a weapon that can potentially overwrite all life on a world with all new lifeforms. None of these actors have had any real success by themselves (I just saw Sulu as sensei to 3 ninja cheerleaders), but TOGETHER, they work.

So how does the new movie stack up to the old one?

Surprisingly, it's stacks up very well. Great in fact. I mean really, really entertaining. It has all the hallmarks of a great blockbuster action movie (big budget, big explosions, big green breasts, big ships, big name director) so the action junkies are covered. It's a "re-imagining" so you don't need to know 40 years of continuity to understand it, so you youngsters are covered. And us old farts will still enjoy it because it gives long-time fans the nods to characters they know and love as well as a few in-jokes that only we can understand. They give us an excuse to scoff at new fans, don't-you-know?

I don't hide the fact that I detested Michael Bay's Transformers, but I was able to put my distaste for his adaptation into words after seeing J.J. Abrams vision of Star Trek. While both are "re-imaginings", Bay took "Transformers" and did more than modernize it. He emptied out everything fans loved about the characters and caricatured them for his movie. What can you tell me about any of the Autobots other than they turn into cool cars? Did any of you feel devastated when you saw Jazz ripped in half? No. You didn't. Because he was nothing more than a token transforming robot, a big excuse to get you to "ooo" and "ahh". As if Megan Fox wasn't enough to make us do that. Pft.

J.J. Abrahms didn't make the same mistake here. The characters are all there and intact in his adaptation of Star Trek. Bones is still the Grumpy Gus with the atrocious bedside manner (Urban's impression is scary, by the way), Spock is still the emotionless powder keg ready to blow, and Kirk is still the confident, rebellious upstart who belongs in the Captain's chair no matter what he thinks. The others are all there too. Overachieving but sexy-as-hell Uhura, bumbling but eager Checkov, kinda dorky but smooth Sulu (now with kung-fu action!), and the funny Scotsman, Simon Pegg as the ever-loving Scotty. Granted they don't get as much screen time as the other three, but their little bits are just icing on the cake that is this film.

Casting is spot on, as is the acting effort by the cast. Like Lord of the Rings, you can really believe that these fantastic events are part of a real universe. Not only do they convey the iconic personalities of their respective characters, they still manage to make it fresh. I really can't say enough about Karl Urban's portrayal of the abrasive cynic McCoy. Watching him inject things into people with abandon is hilarious. Pine is a gem whose arrogant composure during the Kobayashi Maru excercise (yes, Trek fans, the historic taking of the test!) is just absolute fun to watch. Thankfully, I stopped watching Heroes before this Sylar guy showed up so I don't have to suffer through the associations others go through when they see Quinto's Spock. I just get to enjoy seeing him wail on Kirk. What a hoot.

Storywise, I don't think fans will be dissapointed. I'd say it's part "Star Trek: Generations" (but without Shatner cheesing things up), and part "Star Trek: Nemesis" with a pinch of string theory and alot of summer spectaculariffic scenes. Yes, I had to make up a word for how good they are.

The writers took a few liberties with the main Star Trek continuity (Star Trek's Earth 616, if you will) so that they could write about another one where the Star Fleet Academy is populated by hot Orion Slave Girls in lingerie. A little time-hopping and a token vengeful villian and BOOM! new Star Trek universe. Retcon means never having to say you fucked up, but in this case I think it works, especially since this franchise badly needed the re-launch. The re-worked reality means that Abrams is free to do just about anything he wants for the sequel and not get flamed by the fan boy collective.

Effects... what can I say? Abrams knows his shit. Things look sleek and futuristic (they did away with alot of the retro dials and crap you found on the old set), but sufficiently low tech to diffrentiate it from the TNG timeline. The ships are something. The Romulan mining ship looks like a behemoth porcupine (but a really cool one), while the new Enterprise looks like a souped up roadster (I can imagine Kirk alone on the bridge, after serriptiously looking to see if any people are there, quietly going "vroom, vroom, vroooooom!"). They've gone for the if-the-camera-is-shaking-then-its-gots-to-be-real! look that Battlestar Galactica beat into the ground, but honestly, it doesn't detract from your enjoyment. I would not recommend watching it in an IMAX theatre, though. There's a ridiculous amount of stuff on screen at any given time and trying to keep track of it all on a screen 6 stories high is a real pain.

Aside from the visual effects, there's also a ton of practical stuff, from set design to fight choreography that'll stun you. My jaw dropped at the first look at the bridge. Watching Sulu kick ass 22,500 miles above the surface of Vulcan is awsome. The shipyards, academy, Vulcan, the Ice planet, all of them are great environments. Digital matte paintings or not, they really went all out. The whole thing is pure eye candy for scifi nuts, action junkies, and film geeks alike.

The only real drawback in this whole thing was Eric Bana. It was surprising, since I've got a lot of man love for this guy and have enjoyed every one of his movies to this point (well, I enjoyed this one too actually, but I'm sure you get my drift). The thing is, he doesn't make a very convincing villian. Nero seems kind of like me-has-big-ship-badguy-will-smash! So very boring compared to Khan or Shinzon. Now those bastards were scary! These gangsta Romulans are kind of like an after thought of the movie and don't inspire any real dread in the audience. Sure you're agog at their actions, but the aliens themselves could have been the dude you met yesterday. While that's scary in real life, it doesn't fly in a sci-fi thrill ride.

My opinion, though, is that this is the movie to watch this year. Forget Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, or X-men Origns: Wolverine or G.I. Joe or Watchmen. This is the one to beat in '09 and the studios are gonna be hard pressed to do it. So far, I don't see a contender among any of the movies set for release this year.

Live Long and Prosper, dudes.

I'm the opposite of what techies term an "early adopter". I don't buy gear till it's been out on the market for months, and usually not even then. I don't know what the next big thing is, and if you asked me who the hot new recording artist are I'd shrug my shoulders. I still use the same Nokia 5110 (which I lovingly refer to as Zombie Phone) that I've had for about a decade. I've superglued the thing together about 5 times now and it's still hanging in there.

The last console I owned was an 8-bit Nintendo system which I had for less 6-months before the 16-bit revolution came around. I wasn't even finished with Super Mario Brothers (*whispers* I never actually finished - shhhh!) and all of a sudden SUPER Nintendo was vying for the the console crown against Sega's Genesis in the fourth great console war. Understandably, I (or rather my parents) wasn't going to fork over another $100 to upgrade to a new system, so I was stuck with Zelda and Ryu Hayabusa until 2008.

Last year, I finally gave in and bought another platform, the PSP. Whoohoo! As ever, I was late to the game, only deciding to do it once I'd seen that it was actually a good value, with a nice library of good games and a lot of playability. I'm very frugal when it comes to things that are NOT toys. It basically took me 3 years to realize what I was missing not having played God of War.

Let's just say that as soon as I started playing I was hooked. You didn't get games like this when I was a kid. I mean it's a guy going up agains huge monsters and legions of soldiers all be his lonesome. It took me awhile to get used to the 3D playing field (once a side-scroller baby, always a side-scroller baby), but it eventually came to me. What I realized is that the games of today are a hell of a lot easier than my day. How many hours did I waste on that idiotic puzzle level in Mario where you had to go up and down this or that pipe to escape, or in Zelda where you had to go North, North, South, South, East, West, etc, etc, etc. before you could find that next labyrinth. Remember Ninja Gaiden and the jumping over crevices? Didn't you just wish you could take a shotgun and some buckshot and blow a hole through those fliers?

Thankfully, God of War was like a lot of games today; fun. They're relatively easy and great to look at, with really engaging stories. We like to say that "they don't make 'em like they used to", and that's true. They make 'em a hell of a lot better now.

The same can be said of toys as well thankfully. Time was we'd have gotten some crappy 5 point articulation 4" figure with accessories that made no sense. What we got instead was a kick-ass figure with decent articulation, an awesome sculpt, and accessories that are frighteningly well done!

Let's start with the packaging. I think I've said it before, but NECA is one of the best when it comes to clamshell packaging. Most people don't like clamshells, but for a collector who wants to be able to open toys, but put them back in the package, they're second only to the box. If you're careful, you can cut around two sides and silde out the plastic tray with out damaging the plastic. Then if you decide to store him, pop him back in. Me, I just toss the whole thing out after I'm done.







The great thing about the NECA Player Select line is that they come with their very own backdrops. There is a small paper insert that acts as a backing in the box, but if you have some board and a few of those black stand things that came with the Toybiz ML's, you've got a nice little display.





Both the regular version and the Golden Fleece version have some nice gear. If you're only going to get one, then I'd suggest the regular version because of the "Flaming Blades of Athena". You'll get the knife version, and a set of two flame arcs that the blades attach to to simulate the moves in the game. Really really cool stuff.







The "Golden Fleece" set has the blades, but not the burning chain arcs. Instead, it comes with the severed head of medusa. It's a bit odd, but he doesn't really hold the head. Instead, you have to switch his hand entirely with one that is sculpted grasping the head already.





Aside from the gear, Kratos also comes with his shorts. Apparently, Boxers weren't the in thing back in the day, so he's stuck with a kilt. It's removable, but I doubt guys will want to display old Whitey in his banana hammock.







Another nice touch is that the heads of the figures are interchangable. If you want him grimacing or if you want him stoic, it's up to you. If you want to flip his head with Raziel, go for it. The same goes for the ball-jointed hands, but they are a bit loose:





As for articulation, Kratos is an improvement on the old NECA toys, but he's below the newer ones like the TMNT line and Ryu Hayabusa. He still has several of the ugly NECA cut joints. His hips in particular are horrendous, little more than angled cut joints that don't work very well. Thigh cuts are there to help, thankfully. Another problem is that the joints are all LOOSE, especially the ankle and wrist joints. Trying to photograph him is a pain, since he falls over every three seconds, or drops his chains. There's an included stand, but trust me, it's worthless.









So the big question... is he worth the p1,200 suggested retail, or the p1,500-2,000 he regularly goes for on eBay? I'd say no, he isn't. His problems standing and holding his weapons really can tick you off. If you're a fan and just really really want a Kratos figure, I'd say go for the regular one. The Flaming Blades really do look good and the head and armor, or all the gimmicks in the three variant releases after that aren't worth the extra cash. I would have liked it better if they had given him some monsters to vanquish or nekkid Greek Godesses to consort with.

Top Image from BigBadToyStore.com


























The only thing I know about David Mack's Kabuki (the comic series where this figure is from) is that it features a female martial artist that looks asian and wears face paint. Don't really know why she does it, don't much care. I have no idea who Scarab or Akemi are. I haven't the slightest clue why a teddy bear is included with this toy line. The only thing I did know when I bought this figure is that it looked like a bad ass comic book assassin with a ton of blades that she couldn't possible hide on her person since she was wearing a skintight leather suit. With boots. And spikes. ooooo...

It's been something like 2 years since I acquired it (at only p500!) and I still think it's a great toy, despite its drawbacks. The sculpt by Andy Bergholtz is really top-notch and actually looks feminine, unlike most female action figures today. Come to think of it, the female action figure has always been a problem for toy makers. Anyone remember the classic Scarlett during GI Joe's initial 3.75" runs? Talk about androgynous. If she didn't have boobs, you'd have thunk it was Duke's red-headed cousin down from the farm.

Fortunately, Scarab (and Akemi since they share the same body) is very clearly a woman. The sculpt is pure curves and the articulation doesn't detract from he lines. The face is very well done, with clean lines and colors, and it actually looks Asian from most angles. The register lines on the face paint and eyes are also excellent.



Her back is exposed skin and there you'll find her best paint application; her dragon tattoo. It's gorgeous, period. You might have seen the new Shocker Toys version of Kabuki which also has a tattoo, but that figure is a mass market toy which is much lower on the quality scale. This is what really sold me on the toy despite the articulation.



Speaking of articulation... it's crap. a decade ago, the joint count would have been impressive, but this came out during the heyday of the "super-articulated" figure. Diamond Select seems to design more along the lines of McFarlane and the old NECA. While Scarab has some decent arm movement (ball shoulders, peg elbow, swivel wrist), her leg articulation is limited to angled cut joints at the hip, ugly cut joints mid thigh, a peg knee and a ball jointed boot. I say "boot" because the ball joint isn't placed at her ankle. It's located where her boot joins the leg and it's less than useless. You can get her in some decent poses, but she won't hold them for any real length of time.



Accessories however are great. She has two guns that fit into the two extra hands that she is packaged with (the pegs are tiny, but they seem pretty flexible) and several different blades. She'd make a mean Punisher villain. Many of the knives are tiny, so you need to be very careful about not losing them. The small pieces mean that she's not meant for kids, but why would a parent buy their child a plastic version of a master assassin? I mean, unless they belonged to a secret ninja clan somewhere in the mountains of Japan, of course. She also comes with a katana with a sheath. The sheath is too big and there's no place to put it on her costume, so she has to hold it in her hand.





She also comes with the aforementioned teddy that looks straight out of Criminal Minds. It's a great include and looks cute as hell, but due to her poor articulation and its shape, there isn't really a way for her to hold it for long. Here's a pic borrowed from BigBadToyStore.com


She's about in scale with the Fraulein Revoltechs, so around the same size as a Marvel Legend. She actually works better than the Revols with the Legends because she doesn't have the anime styled melon head. And did I say that she has a very nicely sculpted rear end?



All in all, the Scarab figure is a great looking toy. Like the Hasbro Tigra and Marvel Girl from the Marvel Legends series, the designers had to sacrifice quite a bit of articulation to bring us a good sculpt, but in the end, that's a sacrifice well worth making.

Availability is a problem though. I got mine Mint from a collector about two years ago, and I've never actually seen it at any of the local specialty shops.
BigBadToyStore.com has several on sale for about p1000, but shipping'll kill you.




See more of Andy Bergholtz's work at Deviant Art or at his official site, AB Sculpture

Once in a long while, there's a story that is just so unbelievably good that you literally can not stop until you've reached the end. Of all the movies, TV shows, comics, and books I've read, there are only a few that become part of the geeky slush that fills my brainpan. The Star Wars saga (if you ask "Which ones?" I will smack you), Transformers (again, mention Bay and I will smack you), Claremont's X-Men, The Dark Knight Returns... Those are a few of the yarns that make up the framework of what I am.

The stories above were all introduced to me during my formative years, when I still wanted to be a colonial marine or a debonair archaeologist with a fedora. Unfortunately, I no longer have the same sense of wonder I once felt when the Enterprise broke the past the Warp barrier in "Where No Man Has Gone Before". Nowadays, I approach each new story, each new book with a degree of cynicism that borders on the pessimistic.

Which is exactly how I felt about the Nickolodeon cartoon series, Avatar: The Last Airbender.

The series, created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko, isn't really an "anime" cartoon, but my initial reaction to it was that it was another childish, never-ending series of pointless battles like Dragonball or any number of Japanese TV programs. I frankly didn't want to bother with another boring show with one-dimensional characters whose sole purpose is to pose heroically as the "next week on..." screen pops up.

When I finally decided to give the show a chance, I was immediately drawn into the world created by the authors. Much like high fantasy novels like The Wheel of Time, the world of the Airbenders is rich with culture and alive with danger. It's at once familiar and yet totally wondrous. Politics, War, Genocide, Love, Hate, Retribution and Redemption all play a part in the show's 3 season run.

I'm sure you're familiar with the plot; world needs a messiah and one is prophecied to appear. In this story, the messiah is the Avatar, a child born once in a generation that can bend all four elements; Water, Fire, Earth and Air. He is the soul of the previous Avatars re-incarnated and a vessel for their wisdom and power. But unsure that he is ready to take up the responsibility of savior, he runs away and dissapears.

The evil Fire Nation, a kingdom of Firebenders, takes advantage of his dissappearance and conquers the rest of the world, ruling over the Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom, and exterminating the Avatar's people in their Air Temples. 100 years pass and he is discovered frozen in ice at the South Pole. The cartoon follows the Avatar as he learns what has happened to the world he left behind and what he must do to save it.

The cartoon series is populated with a great cast of characters, from the lost Avatar, Aang, to the exiled Fire Price, Zuko. All of them go through their own arcs during the the show, learning and growing as the writers reveal more and more of their world. The story follows Aang as he learns how to control the other elements of Water, Earth and Fire, meeting interesting people and escaping from his enemies.

The fight scenes are gorgeous, a testament to the animators. They aren't like anything I've seen before in Japanese or American animation. For that matter, I've never seen fight choreography like this in live action movies. Each bending style is based on a real world martial art that reflects the core of that kingdom's spirit. Water is adaptive and Waterbenders focus on breath and visualization of their goals. Their movements are copied from Tai Chi. Northern Shaolin Kung Fu uses strong arm and leg strikes, perfect for the Firebenders rage-fueled art. Bāguàzhǎng, a martial art whose practitioners are known for the ability flow in and out of the way of objects is what Airbenders use. Hung Ga Kuen, from Southern China, is famous for it's immovable stances and hammer strikes which reflects the skill that Earthbenders need to move rock.

The culture of each society is just as rich as their martial arts. The Water Tribe is a nomadic people like the American Indians or Eskimos. The Air Nomads were monks who isolated themsleves from the other peoples in magnificent temples. The Earth Kingdom was a thriving city society. And the Fire Nation is a nation of soldiers whose goal is glory. Each has it's own customs and character which shows through in the main cast.

Though the show only runs 3 seasons, don't worry, you won't be dissappointed when the end comes. The final 2-hour "movie" is something that gets you out of your seat, gasping at every matte painting and effect. When the climactic battle finally comes, you're holding your breath, anxious despite years of saturday morning cartoons telling you that good always wins over evil.

But believe me when I say, you're going to hate leaving these characters as much as Frodo and the Hobbits of Middle-Earth.

Repo! The Genetic Opera is something... well, something. The best thing I can say about it is that I WANTED to like it. After seeing the trailer on one of the other DVDs I own, I was hoping to find a copy, but since this thing ran on a handful of screens in the States and never even arrived on our shores, chances of me finding it in stores were about as slim as Joe Quesada's in a mosh pit of armed Spidey fans during One More Day's run.

But thanks to the Interweb, and some horribly mangled tagalog phrases directed at various vendors of the not so legal variety, I was able to score one. The cover is much like the poster in the image; it doesn't give you any idea what the movie is or what kind of audience it's aiming at. Apparently, it's mostly Lionsgate's fault since marketing for the film was virtually nil. The bulk of the campaign was done by the Filmmakers so I wouldn't be surprised if the poster/DVD cover was done on the cheap.

The basic idea of Repo is that the world has undergone a great plague that has killed off millions. A mega-corporation called GeneCo capitalizes on the needs of the survivors, peddling human tissue and organs. Those that can't afford the surgeries are granted financing plans, but if they fail to pay, their organs are reposessed by the corporation's assassin, Repo Man.

I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't going to like this film. The art direction is more Goth than Cyberpunk, the music is more Deathrock than Opera, and the acting is more... well, Paris Hilton is in the cast. 'nuff said.

If you thought this would be a cross between Blade Runner and Moulin Rouge (raises hand), you're shit out of luck. It's more of a cross between Saw II, Saw II, Saw IV (all directed by Darren Lynn Bousman as well) and those off-broadway plays that Joey starred in during the first season of Friends. The movie borders on torture porn, but with music.

I'm no expert, but I figure that a musical should have some very catchy tunes to it. I gotta say that this movie has some of the most horrendous un-singable songs I've ever heard. I remember after I watched RENT that I couldn't stop singing "La Vie Boheme" and "Come What May" was ringing around my head for months after Moulin Rogue. And who can forget "The Internet is For Porn"? The songs here are mostly either Anthony Stewart Head screaming or Paul Sorvino reading his lines.

Here's a sample from "Mark It Up" where the three heirs to the GeneCo throne are discussing who will succeed Rotti Largo:

Luigi: slut!

Amber: cunt!

Pavi: my brother and sister should fuck!

Catchy, huh? The rest of the lyrics are more of the same, set to Goth punk/rock. It's sort of like listening to to a loop of Evanescense tracks while watching a Carotid Endarterectomy in your underwear. It's really that uncomfortable listening to this stuff.

The film is striking, there's no denying that. While I was watching Repoman do his thing, I was thinking how to make a custom toy of the character. And there are some nice ideas that, if fleshed out and executed with an eye more toward story and less on gore, might have proven to be entertaining.

Bottom line, if you like the Saw series or the Hostel series, you might like this. Otherwise, don't bother.

So only two films opened this week (and late int he week to boot). Crank 2 and 17 Again. Now if you're a heterosexual male who has about 2 hours to kill until you have to be at the office, which would you choose?

I know, right?

The idea of Crank 2 is Jason Statham running around Los Angeles with only a few hours to save his life. In order to do that he needs to do some very bad things. This includes a lot of murder and mayhem, and some public indecency for good measure. It's supposed to be like Speed mixed with a bit of 24, but with logic thrown out the window.

That's the idea anyway. The execution doesn't really deliver. The first one came out of nowhere and it had alot of things going for it. It was a non-stop ride that DEMANDED you leave your brain at the door. It had Statham who, in my opinion should be getting more work as a leading man in action vehicles. He brings any movie he's in a certain cool that just makes you want to cheer. Even clunkers like the Transporter sequels made you want this guy to win. Then it's got Amy Smart in sex scenes in public.

'Nuff said.

The second one has all that, but somehow, something went very very wrong. Now I don't mind going into a cinema during the third reel and waiting for the beginning after the break. But in this case, the last half of the movie was so inarguably ridiculous, so patently preposterous, I didn't bother staying to see the beginning. Amy Smart sex scene or not, Geri Halliwell cameo or not, I didn't want to wait another 30 minutes to sit through this crap.

And it's not just the story. Now if you've taken a film class, they'll tell you the camera shake from hand held camera work is used to create an uneasiness in the viewer. But the director has the camera on some guy's shoulder the ENTIRE movie! Talk about queasy-making. Plus it seems that the cameraman AND the editor AND the director AND the actors... pretty much everyone involved down to the caterers are all on crack. The whole movie is like some bad trip full of cuts and odd angles and over the top acting. It's a total mess.

It's amazing, but despite having two very beautiful actresses (Amy Smart and Bai Ling) in the cast, they manage to make them both more unnattractive then I have ever seen them. I found myself wanting to shot Ling myself and Smart is little more than the girl in the short dress showing off her legs in the street. Both act like ridiculous caricatures.

Even the action is kind of blah. Sure there's ALOT of it, but it's boring unimaginitive stuff made even worse by the crazy camera work. During the last scene, a guy pulls out a pair of nunchucks! He proceeds to do the requisite nunchuck twirling, hits a guy once with it, and then throws it away. I don't know if it was supposed to be a joke or what, but it fell totally flat.

The effects don't help either. There's a scene with a guy on fire beating the crap out of people. Instead of a stunt guy, they digitally "painted" the flames in. Absolutely awful. And don't get me started on the reveal at the end. I don't want to spoil it, but it is undeniably, the worst worst worst effects job I've seen in a long time. Not only is it a bad effect, but it's worse than the end reveal of "Knowing" which was the mother of all cop outs.

Bottom line; don't waste your time. If you're a fan of Smart and want to see her pole dance, then wait for the DVD.